A Schizophrenic Prayer

The lonesomeness of the mind creates a world that excludes others. You sit with all the demons that have given you all your bad traits and breathe in the solidarity of thought. You can't escape the negative chatter that may be present in the deep crevices and crooks in your deep loneliness. Wanting to reach out and be a part of the human race, but the forces that have taken control of you prohibit you from being that soul. So instead, you sit and fester with this loneliness. You sit and incubate the hate you have for this loss since of normalcy. The grappling of understanding. Your soul knows that the world is there. Your presents in the world is strong enough to be felt by those around you. However, the stream of consciousness is gone. You no longer move in the air of life. You live in the shadows and the darkness of shades to reality. Why, who, what, where? The questions of touch. The tangible feelings of being absent in your life hold you down with the chains of oppression placed on you by the stigma of society and you are forced to admit that you are not like them. The assimilation of one who can no longer exist in this present place causes more angst and desolation, forcing you back into the Alice in Wonderland whole from which you came. Up is down, and down is sideways. So you pick of the pieces of peace that you so badly want to invest in. Sad to see what doesn't make sense slip through your fingers like sand. The mind chooses to neglect is rightfulness. It chooses to stay lost in the wilderness, only you have no idea that you are lost. No perception of time or loss thereof. And there you sit. With pieces of peace. With lost momentum of self. With utter loneliness. And you cry out to God. Only to have Him answer: 

Nevermore said the Raven. Nevermore 

And your reply: Father, Why hast thou forsaken me. 

God: I am here with you

You: To be my judge and my Jury

God: I am here with you

You: Be a light onto my life

God: I am here with you.

Yet and still I sit with the loneliness that has broken my being in parts that can never be reconstructed. For I am lost in the wilderness of my mind.